Day 022 – Point Harbor, NC – Wild Horses and Mint Juleps

There are many ways to do the child thing – have kids, don’t have kids, have them younger have them older, make your own, adopt, foster, rent a womb…

I really want to have some kids of my own, but now that I am single again I think it will be sometime before I do, but hopefully not too long. I’m 40 now and best case I’ll be 42-43 before the first one, 44-45 before the second unless they are twins. My brother Joe had his first when he was 25 and third at 28 and they have grown up fast. They always do when you are an adult and you see them grow from a baby. I couldn’t imagine having children when I was that age. I felt unable to think about much more than myself. I also felt that I needed to learn more about life and to gain more experience before being capable of raising kids. I felt the same way about marriage – that getting married later in life would make it easier because I would be more experienced – nope!

I now understand that I could’t know how to be married until I was married and working through the challenge that it brings. I’m assuming that having your own kids is the same way. There is only so much I can do to prepare myself for the experience and then I have to do it. This may not seem like earth shattering news, but to me it was a real shift in thinking. It has allowed me to be kinder to myself when taking on challenges by understanding that I, like everyone else on the planet, will make lots of mistakes big and small – in my next marriage, when raising kids, when deciding how long to spend where on my bicycle trip. It’s being resilient and also the willingness to ask for and receive help that gives the best chance for success – also asking lots of questions.

The kids thing is on my mind because Nick was 42 when he started having children and he and Dawn seem really happy.

Once I leave Point Harbor I will be going south along the Outer Banks so I decided it would be fun to go north to Corolla to see some wild horses. I assumed that  they would be all over town grazing 🙂 Not really, but I didn’t think I would need a 4×4 truck to see them, which sadly you do. Had I asked Nick he would of told me how hard it would be to see them on a bicycle (see asking lots of questions above), but it’s also nice to go and discover what there is to discover. It was a nice 50 mile ride and I did walk through Currituck Banks Reserve just north of town. There are two paths that wind through a maritime forest of oak trees. There isn’t a whole lot of the forest left so it was a real treat to see how the trees have adapted to living in sand nourished by salt water. There was also lots of horse crap right in the middle of the path and some of it was fresh so I thought I might get lucky and see a wild horse. It was like they were taunting us non 4×4 owning tourists with their presence only to be invisible. They do have tours where you can get in a Hummer and race down the beach and find them, but I wasn’t into doing that.

Once I got back to the house Nick took me over to his friend Richard’s house for some of his divine mint juleps (mint right out of his garden) and North Carolina shrimp in a dipping sauce made with gin. Richard is an interesting guy – he’s 86, sharp as a tack, can talk about anything and probably drink me under the table. Richard and Nick have known each other for over 40 years which makes for a familiar relationship and lots of good stories. Like how Richard, wearing a dress kilt (great picture that I don’t have), drove Nick to the church for his wedding. Nick was understandably nervous on the big day and asked Richard if he had anything to calm him. With a flourish, Richard pulled a flask of Scotch from his sporrans (the bag on the front of his kilt) and placed it in his hand.

We spent the better part of an evening talking about social issues and politics and the history of the area. It was worth staying another day to spend more time with them.